Holy Discontent?

The Bible study a friend and I have been slowly working through is about the topic of contentment. In the first few lessons we've explored two different kinds of discontentment, one bad, the other good. The good kind of discontentment is what I'm writing about today. On the surface the term good discontentment seems like an oxymoron. If we are supposed to cultivate contentment in our lives, which we are (at least if we are trying to live our lives by biblical standards), how can any discontentment be good. Is there such a thing as holy discontent? What does that look like?

Good discontentment is being unhappy with the current state of affairs in the world. It is knowing that God's way is far, far better than most of what we see going on around us. It's why we pray for God's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Because we are convinced heaven is better, we are not fully content with a life on earth. So we look with eager anticipation to the way things will be one day. Good discontentment also involves the realization that nothing here on earth will ever completely satisfy you. There can be much happiness and blessing in this life for sure, but this life is filled with longing, trying, reaching, and striving, and that will not end until we see Jesus face to face.

Here's an excerpt from my print journal where I was trying to process some of my thoughts about this topic:

I am restless...for heaven, for home, for God. Everything else just leaves me wanting something more. The new always wears off of everything. It doesn't matter how many books I read, how many friends I talk to, or whatever, I always want something more. It's always been that way really. It's like having an itch you can't quite reach. No matter how good the day has been, it seems it ends on a note of frustration as I fall onto the sofa wishing for a bit more of something I can't quite put my finger on. I don't think I'm alone in that feeling. I think everything people do, the good and bad, is an effort to find happiness and contentment. We always want just one more thing. There's always one more piece of the puzzle that we need. The grass always looks just a bit greener on someone else's side of the fence. You know, there are some things about heaven that I can imagine. I can imagine never being sad. I can imagine never feeling pain. But I really cannot fathom feeling absolutely, 100% content. I can't imagine not wanting something, but I'm looking forward to it!

Revisiting eHarmony?

Well, it finally happened. My curiosity trumped my good sense. I completed my eHarmony profile. Months ago I started working on the 19,000 question survy because I thought it would be fun to get my free personality profile. I wrote about that here. Anyway, Mr. Warren was on TV advertising a "free communication weekend," and my mom was like, "hey, why don't you do that!" I like to throw mom a bone every once in a while, so I said, "ok, maybe." I logged in and completed the questionairre and lo and behold, within minutes, I had MATCHES! I seriously didn't think I would get matches. I was fully convinced that I was the only one of my kind in the world. Even IF there were matches I just knew that somewhere, somehow within Mr. Warren's questions regarding the 29 dimensions of compatibility it would be detected that I'm a basketcase. Most people seem to agree, but nonetheless, the matches came.

Stupid, stupid me. What was I thinking?! Now what do I do? I'm gonna have to pay after today if I want to keep talking to any of these men. Yes, yes, that means I have communicated with a couple of people. Those of you that know me know just how out of the ordinary this is for me.

Mental note: People that don't know what they want shouldn't sign up for services filled with people that know exactly what they want and are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

It's been a bit of an ego booster for me I guess, which needs a lot of boosting to even be detected. The ego trip will end tonight though, presumably around midnight, so I've got between now and then to decide whether I'm willing to deposit a quarter to keep this ride alive. Decisions, decisions.